Imaginary Light
by Blackdrak
Summary: Ken loves Ran, and decides to tell him one night. When Ran rejects him, Ken falls into a coma. Will Ran be able to correct his mistake, or will Ken be lost forever? RanKen! COMPLETE
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Prologue 

Ran and Ken's POV

Y'know, there's nothing better than an ice cold shower on a hot summer's day. I watch as the tiny, innocent drops splatter against my hands. Hands that are permanently stained by the blood of many lives. Even the icy water can't truly wash away the sins of killing. Murdering. Because that's all we are, isn't it? Murderers.With blood that's colder than ice, we take the lives of innocent people. Real people, with real homes and real families who will never again see their cherished ones. Does the fact that they've commited horrible crimes make it okay to destroy someone's life? I sigh heavily and turn off the water, once more staring at my hands, forever stained.


	2. Thoughts of an Assassin

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Chapter One: Thoughts of an Assassin 

Ken's POV

After dressing for another day of work at the Koneko no Sumo Iie, I plaster a forced smile on my face, and trot down the stairs to find everyone already awake. There's a mug of hot coffee sitting on the table for me, no doubt courtesy of Omi. I sit down across from Yohji, who bids me a good morning while reading the paper. Omi smiles over by the back door, grabbing his stuff and leaving for school. Ran is already opening the shop, because he, Yohji, and I have the first shift (with Yohji's laziness and my being a klutz, it takes all three of us to handle the job). Luckily, the fangirls are all at school, so it's rather quiet. I pick up themug and take slow sips ofthe hot liquid, feeling the warmth travel through my body. It'sgone before I'm ready for it to be.

I get up from the table,place the mug by the sink, and head off into the shop,motioning for Yohji to hurry up and join us.I soonbusy myself watering the orchids. I always pay special attention to them, for someunknown reason 1. I stop when I realize that the water is pooling up under the pot, and wonder if I was spacing out. I move on to the roses next.

I watch as Ran stalks into the back room, probablyto place the orders. I sigh deeply, tearing my eyes away from his beautiful form. Yes, beautiful. I have long since come to terms with the fact that I, Ken Hidaka, am in love with another man. Ran Fujimiya, of all people. The cold, dark, mysterious, and drop-dead gorgeous leader of Weiß. But that doesn't matter. The only thing that does is that I'm totally and completely in love with him. And some day, I will confess it. Just not today.

The rest of the day goes fairly quickly. Yohji and I have the evening off, leaving Omi and Ran to run the shop (I swear, Ran never takes a break from working, be it our day job, or the night one). I spend my time watching old soccer tapes of games I've seena milliontimes before. It seems that when I'm watching or playing soccer, my smile is not forced, and I can almost forget about my sins; I can pretend I'm still young and innocent, playing for the J-league. That Kase never betrayed me, that I neverbecame part of Weiß. But still the thoughts linger in the back of my mind, threatening to resurface and tear through me, ripping my very soul apart. I can always keep them at bay while engaged in soccer, but when I lay in bed at night, alone, my barriers slip, and I fight to keep what little I have left of my sanity. Sometimes I want to get up, walk into the room of my beloved, tell him how I feel, and have him hold me through the night into the early morning. Of course, that wouldnever happen, but a guy can dream, can't he?

When even soccer cannot distract me from my thoughts any longer, I give up, turning the TV off. I strip to my boxers, and crawl under the covers of my bed. But it's a sleepless night, for I am plagued by the cries of lives I have taken. Silent tears fall as I prepare myself for another day of fake cheeriness and unending torment.

I can stand it no longer. I have to tell him! The love I feel for Ran is slowly tearing me apart. It's to the point where I will breaka pot or mess up an order on purpose, just to gain his attention, even if it is negative. I would do anything just to have him glare at me, saying I'm a klutz, as long as it's meant for me, and only me.

I continue the day as normal, having the morning shift in the shop once more, though secretly inside my thoughts run completely wild. It's really quite odd that no one ever notices the fact that my smiles are forced, and once lively chocolate eyes are now a dull, sad-looking brown. Or maybe they don't want to notice, the only shreds of sanity pulled together by the cheeriness Omi and I put forth. Relying on a smile to bring hope and comfort. We all have our ways of hiding behind a mask. Ran's a mask of ice, Omi's exuberant genkiness, Yohji's women and Nicotine, mine being my smile. A mask can hide all of the pain one feels, yet at the same time revealing it all. But my one wish is for Ran to drop his mask for me, and only me. Allow a smile to break through, and let me drop my own mask. Will it ever happen? The night may tell.

\TBC/

1 As you probably know, Ran's name means orchid, so I had to throw that in.  
Okay, just so you all know, I have already written this entire story, so hopefully updates will be more frequent... I just have to type it up. And since summer is coming, look for more NEW stories arriving from me! Oh, and to feed my muses, I need reviews. Lots of reviews.


	3. Mission From Hell

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Chapter Two: The Mission From Hell

Ken's POV

"Weiß, you have a mission. Your targets are Tetsuya Takarashi, President of 'Pretty Things,' and Reika Ohkawa, the lead artist. The mission folder will explain the details. Hunters of the night, deny these evil beasts their tomorrows!"

The shadow of our former Persia flickers off the screen as we pass the folder's contents around, myself being the last to read them. 'Pretty Things' is apparently a simple group of artists, but the president hired an out-of-the-ordinary artist to take the lead. She supposedly paints horrific scenes of people being murdered in various different ways, and uses real humans as models for her 'art.' So it is, once more, our job to dispose of the criminal masterminds. We as Weiß work above the law, taking matters that cannot be solved by the police into our own hands. I often ponder over the fact that in some ways, we're no better than the lives we dispose of. After all, we're just cold-blooded killers, aren't we? And that's all they are, too.

The sound of Manx's voice brings me back to the subject at hand.

"Okay, Weiß, who's in?"

Yohji's voice is the first to cut in. "Well, it involves damsels in distress, does it not? So I'm in, I suppose."

Omi's genki chibi voice pipes in next. "Sure. Count me in!"

Ran, as usual, just nods. I'm the last to accept. One of these days, I'm going to say no. Just not today.

NyarNyarNyar (this is my transition from scene to scene, okay?)

The mission starts as planned. Ran and I go after the targets while Omi and Yohji take care of the guards and the alarm system. I still don't understand why they have guards or alarms in a building full of simple painters, but I guess Takarashi wants to make sure no one messed with his and Ohkawa's scheme to make money.

All of a sudden I hear our leader's voice cut through the silence, ordering me to hold still and be quiet, a pale arm clad by trenchcoat sleeves holding me back, musky scent dwelling in my nose. But this is no time to think about that.

A few seconds later, we hear someone approaching the abandoned hallway we're currently invading. The tan plush carpet makes it hard to hear anyone coming, but to the ears of a trained assassin (or two), Ran and I can make out quiet footsteps. Our target is the one to round the corner, a female, so obviously Ohkawa.

She never even sees the twin cold expressions on our faces, for a katana strikes her heart faster than a bullet. Crimson liquid stains the carpet, and splatters the lavender walls.

I watch as Ran approaches the 26-year-old woman and yanks the blade out with a sickening noise, blood pooling onto her khaki coat and pants. Very messy business this is.

Neither of us hear the other figure appear, drawing out a gun. Before the redhead or I can notice, Tetsuya Takarashi shoots my Ran in the stomach with a maniacal laugh. I scream, mouth agape as time all but stops in its tracks. I watch in petrified horror as my stoic beauty falls backward with a pained expression on his face, gripping the wound tightly, all in slow motion.

I dash forward, bugnucks at the ready, and for once, I enjoy the feeling of flesh being torn beneath my claws. The blonde-haired, middle-aged American falls lifelessly on top of the already dead body of his brunette partner-in-crime, never again to kill another person. But all of my attention is focused on my fallen comrade. I quickly kneel down next to his unconscious form and tie my orange shirt around his abdomen to stop the bleeding.

When my brain comes back to life for a minute I signal Omi and Yohji over the intercom. "Siberian to Bombay and Balinese. The targets have been eradicated, but Abyssinian has fallen. I repeat, the targets have been eradicated, but Abyssinian has fallen." They can obviously detect the quiver in my voice, and after I tell them our exact location, they waste no time in making it over here.

Omi takes a quick note of the two targets, but then joins Yohji and I at Ran's side. Omi assesses the wounds of our leader, a fretful look on his normally cheerful face. We decide it'd be best to take him home instead of a hospital (nurses ask too many questions).

Yohji and I carry Ran on our shoulders as we make our way out of the building. Omi takes care of the few remaining guards, and we reach Ran's silver Porsche in only a few minutes, though it feels like an eternity.

I climb into the back with Ran while Yohji and Omi sit up front. The eldest takes the driver's seat and drives as fast as possible while I take the head of the fallen into my lap, a million questions and thoughts buzzing through my head.

NyarNyarNyar

"Okay. He will be fine in a few weeks, only because the bullet missed his major organs. But no work for three weeks," ordered one of Kritiker's doctors. I take a moment to ponder the meaning of those directions. A picture of a doctor saying that to Ran pops into my head. Ran? Not working for three weeks? Within seconds, I see a katana being shoved into her guts.

A smile crosses my lips, and I notice Yohji looking at me like I'm crazy. Then again, I guess I probably am. All of us are. Who, in our position, wouldn't go insane?

The black-haired female doctor leaves the room, no doubt returning to the Kritiker hospital to look over other injured patients. Yohji takes his leave once she's gone, muttering something about being late for his date. I'm alone, and take the opportunity to shift my eyes around Ran's room. Everything is so… bland. There's nothing personal, except for a few books set neatly atop a table. So I instead turn to look at something more interesting, settling my gaze upon the sleeping soldier.

I am the first person to see Ran's beautiful violet eyes open to the room. I had volunteered to stay with him through the night, since Omi has school this morning and Yohji has a date (when does he not?). I, of course, am always more than happy to have an opportunity to stare at our redheaded leader without anyone catching me.

He looks like an innocent angel when asleep, far away from the life we are now forced to live through. Even now, it takes a moment to slip on his 'mask' of ice, and I am, for only a short moment, able to enjoy the adorable look of confusion playing on his face to waking up with me sitting in his room (without permission). But confusion quickly turns to annoyance, and a glare is cast my way.

I break to him the news of his injury and how long he's supposed to keep from exerting himself, therefore knocking the intensity of his glare up a few notches. He makes a move as if to argue it over, but I send him my own patented glare, surprising the redhead.

I rarely glare at anybody, so when I do, whomever is on the receiving end takes me seriously. Normally. Not always.

Without another word I exit the room, leaving the ever-grump Ran to rest. Though he'll most likely try to escape the confines of his own bedroom. Let him try!

The rest of the day goes quickly, simply for the sake of the story, since the authoress is too lazy to write anything creative about watering plants and being attacked by rabid fangirls.

When I return to Ran's room this evening, my 'angel' is already awake, reading one of his many books. I can't tell what it's called, but it's pretty thick and has a bland cover, so most likely it's of no interest to me.

Upon hearing me enter, he marks his page with a small piece of paper and shuts the book, setting it down on the nightstand. I hastily explain to him that it's time to change his bandages, so he won't get mad and question my intrusion. I'm the only one around to actually take care of him, so there are no questions, and he nods without any argument.

The first aid kit is on his dresser, so I grab it and sit next to the redhead on the bed (hah! That rhymed!), trying to sit close enough to be able to reach him, but not so close that it makes him uncomfortable. He takes of his shirt (since the bandages are around his abdomen, you know), and I am graced with a nice sight. Scarred, but still very beautiful. Finely toned muscles, pale, almost inhuman skin.

I reach over with shaky hands and carefully remove the bandages from his slight form, a jolt of… something… amazing overcoming my senses as his flesh meets mine. I try to steady my hands as I wrap the new gauze around his stomach, but to no avail. I can only hope that he doesn't notice my shy embarrassment. But if he does, my stoic leader shows no signs that he cares.

Finally, after what seems like hours but is really only minutes, the fresh bandages are wrapped tightly around Ran's sculpted body. An uncomfortable silence settles in the room, and for the second time tonight I notice how completely drab the bedroom is. Everything seems dark and foreboding, the moonlight casting strange shadows across the furniture. A cool breeze causes the curtains to rustle restlessly against the open window and ruffles crimson locks of hair.

It's only when I bring myself to look into Ran's eyes that I realize just how close I came to losing my love in the last mission. What if… something happened… and I had never told him how I feel? I decide that it must be done. No matter how afraid I am. I am going to tell him. Right now. Yep, right… now! Have I said it yet?

"R-Ran… I…" Oy. Smooth, Ken, smooth. This is a hell of a lot harder than one would think it'd be.

"You what?"

I become even more nervous due to that cold tone in his voice. "I-I-I… I-I… I love you!" Well, there you have it. I finally blurted it out.

I feel tremendous relief at having gotten it off of my chest, but that doesn't mean my nerves have calmed down. In fact, if anything, I'm even more worried than I was before. Damn it.

I notice that my eyes are shut tightly, so I release them open, looking into the eyes of my beloved. Confusion, pure and true. He never expected this… but the shocked confusion turns to a cold, ice cold, Antarctic cold glare.

"Ken, I have no feelings for you. Please leave. Now."

It's my turn to be shocked, hearing the blatant indifference in his voice. I hadn't exactly expected to be met with his own declaration of love, but I did expect… something… anger, confusion, hurt; anything but this nothingness, as if his voice is void of all emotion.

The realization of pure rejection begins to settle in, a heavy weight on my chest. I quietly get up from the bed where true love lays, and walk dejectedly to the door, feeling the unwanted tears settling on the rims of my bottom eyelids.

At the doorway I turn around and take one last pleading look at the man I love, my Ran, before I feel my knees give out and darkness takes over my reality.

TBC!

Like it? Love it? Hate it with all of your heart? Review! I know I've taken a long time to update, but now that it's summer, no more school, I have lots of time on my hands! Look for the next chapter in the next few days. I promise! This is a six-part story, so we're half way through already (cries)! And remember, the authoress needs her daily intake of reviews, so please help to meet that! Ja ne!


	4. Imaginary Light

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Chapter Three: Imaginary Light

Ran's POV

I am able to do nothing. I watch on as the brunette collapses to the floor. His confession had taken me by such surprise that my mind barely registers the fact that my teammate has fallen in the entrance to my cold sanctuary, unmoving aside from shallow intakes of breath.

As reality sets in, I panic, grabbing Ken's muscled body around the waist gently to carry him to safety, cradled in my arms. Since Yohji's room is closest, I try there first.

I knock on the door with my foot, my arms having already been taken, sounding obviously stressed. No answer.

I curse lightly and take the not quite light body of Ken to Omi's door. It seems as if the hallway goes on forever, though really it's rather small. The only sound is my bare feet against the tatami floor.

This time when I knock on the door (still with my foot), Omi answers. I stick the fact that Yohji is sitting on the couch, looking not too happy at me, a disheveled Omi at the door, to the back of my mind for later analysis.

At the sight of an unconscious Ken, though, both seem to forget whatever they had previously been doing and begin asking questions. I simply tell them that Ken was walking past my door to the bathroom when he suddenly fell to the floor. Omi nods, but Yohji gives me a suspicious glare, making me wonder just how much he might know.

We decide to take Ken to a real hospital, since he wasn't injured on a mission or anything that would arouse suspicion. Yohji thinks it's best that we take his car, since I'm in no real condition to be driving, and no one else is allowed to touch my Porsche.

Omi sits up front in the passenger's seat while I sit in back with Ken laying peacefully in my lap. The short trip passes in an uncomfortable silence, the two blondes occasionally stealing glances at the "sleeping" brunette.

All of my thoughts are in a scramble, battling for dominance. The confession… my rejection of him… the form laying helplessly on the floor… but most of all, the sight of Ken's hurt face when… I shake my head to try to clear my dying head. I don't have the slightest clue as to why I'm such a wreck, why this is affecting me so much, why I… care. I'm supposed to be the cold, unfeeling bastard who cares about his sister, and ONLY his sister. But ever since Aya woke up and went off to boarding school, I've been softening up. Maybe too much. Or maybe… not enough.

We pull up to the hospital, and after Yohji's good parking karma gets us a spot up front, I gently lift Ken out of the car, clutching him against my orange sweater. Yohji catches this gesture with his assassin-trained emerald eyes, and a small smirk appears on his lips, but I just glare coldly back at him.

Omi clears his throat loudly, beckoning us to follow him inside the pristine white building of the Magicbus hospital. I push up in front instead of simply following him, leading the way past the front desk of the clinic, to the emergency room.

Yohji takes the brunette from the arms, leaving Omi and I to sit worriedly in uncomfortable hospital chairs as he grabs the attention of some nurses.

My mind blanks slightly, and I barely notice as Yohji sits down beside us with a heavy sigh. We're all prepared to be waiting for a while.

It's about an hour (and much brooding) later that a doctor emerges from room number 142 asking for Ken Hidaka's family, an unsettling expression on his face. I can tell, and I'm sure the others can, too, that the news will not be good.

"The good news is that his life is not in any immediate danger. The bad news is… he's in a coma. We don't know how this happened or when he might wake up, only that it is self-induced, caused by some sort of emotional trauma."

At this, Yohji sends another suspicious glare my way, but I glare right back. There's no way in Hell I'm letting that blonde playboy make me feel guilty. After all, it was Ken's fault… right? We're murderers, we don't have time for trivial things such as love. But no matter how much I try, I can't keep back the feeling that I've done something wrong…

The doctor informs us that it's okay to go see Ken now, and it seems we can't get there fast enough. I keep my calm exterior and indifferent mask in place, but on the inside it feels like all of my organs have turned to jell-o.

After almost running down the hall, trying to be careful though failing miserably, the three of us finally reach Ken's room. Omi hesitantly opens the door and begins to walk inside, as if afraid of what he'll see, but then stops in his tracks. Yohji and I peer over his shoulders to see what's wrong, and the sight of the frail, sickly boy on the bed makes me wonder if we've stepped into the wrong room. He's hooked up to all sorts of different machines to monitor his heart rate, blood pressure, pump fluids into his body, and others whose purposes I can't even begin to guess.

His body is rigid, as if under a great amount of stress. But this stress is caused by work. He fell into a coma because he was stressed about having to be a part of a group of assassins. Who wouldn't be? Therefore it is not my fault. Not at all. I nod my head slightly to reassure myself, and the nurse gives me a strange look. I don't blame her.

Still standing in the entryway to the room, a tug at the hem of my shirt pulls me out of my silent thoughts. I look down and see a young girl of about 8 years staring up at me with worried brown eyes.

"Is Ken-san going to be all right?" she asks, tears starting to fill her eyes. I notice she is wearing an oversized white and blue soccer jersey, black shorts, and white sneakers, so I surmise that she must be one of the kids that Ken coaches. How did she find out Ken was here?

The girl touches a rare soft spot in my hear, so I kneel down and smile warmly, taking her small hand in one of mine and wiping her tears away with the other.

"Ken will be fine. By the way, what's your name?"

The small girl with pigtailed brown hair (much like Ken's) smiles back. "My name's Kaori!"

Omi and Yohji stare at me the whole time, identical looks of shock covering their faces. I glare right back, then turn to Kaori once more. After seeming to contemplate me for a moment with a serious expression on her face, she grabs my eartails and yanks firmly on them, a smile gracing her face.

I should have gotten angry. With anyone else, I would have. But with this child, I don't find any anger at all hidden in me.

"So, Kaori, is your mother around here? She's probably wondering why you're still in here."

A look of realization crosses her face, and after a quick goodbye, she runs out the door, leaving a bewildered Omi and Yohji to gape at the fact that I said so many words all together in one day.

I stand up, brushing my eartails back into place, and slip on my indifferent mask once more. Yohji turns his attention back to the sickly boy while Omi looks worriedly at all of us.

"Umm, we should probably go. Visiting hours have been over for a while, and there's really no point in staying here… Ken's not going to get any better by us staring at him 24/7," the young blonde declares.

Yohji seems reluctant, staring anxiously at the sleeping figure, but hears the honest truth in Omi's words. Staying here does nothing for Ken, and we all need rest, just in case another mission comes up. A mission… is won't be the same without Ken… uh, because he's useful to our team. Yes. Useful. That's all there is to it.

With one last glance, the three of us reluctantly tread out of the white room, and prepare for the next few days, which will inevitably be some of the longest days of our life.

NyarNyarNyar

Ken's POV

The darkness is overwhelming; I can see nothing else. I have been robbed of all of my senses, and my memory seems to have been wiped clean. Who am I…? Where am I…? What am I…?

I try to take a step forward, but find that I am floating. I panic, trying desperately to move my limbs. Limbs that won't cooperate, won't allow me access to the nerves needed to move.

In a flash, everything comes back to me at once. My life in the J-league… Kase… joining Weiß… my teammates; my only friends… and Ran. Lots of memories of the cold bastard whom I just happened to fall in love with. One who used to live by his sisters name, Aya, for revenge, and nothing else. But his sister is awake and happy, so why can't he try to at least pretend to be normal…?

The memory of my confession… the horrid experience of rejection. The emotions flow from the inner part of whatever I am now. Pain, anguish, bitter, unrequited love…

I feel myself being slowly pulled downward. Or is it down..? Is it up? Or to the side? There's no way of telling. I sink deeper and deeper into the darkness, whichever direction it may be. Wherever, whatever it may be, this place is consuming me from the inside out.

I let it. I let it do everything. Pull me down, tear me up, and rip the torn pieces into oblivion. I have nothing left to live for, so what's the point of struggling?

And yet… something holds me firmly in place, refusing to let go. What is this? This… strange feeling? Is it a new sense? A new emotion? Something that can only be found in times of utter despair? I'm not sure… but I think it might be hope.

TBC!

So, what do you think? Poor Kenken's being awfully angsty… of course, I would be too, if I were in his position. Also, in the series, he seems to be a pretty angsty person, hidden behind his mask of clumsy happiness, so I'm simply portraying what I believe to be the real Kenken. Anyways, R&R! The authoress can't live without her reviews, so please help feed me, won't you? See you in the next chapter!


	5. Hope and Dreams Come Together

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Chapter Four: Hope and Dreams Come Together

Ran's POV, three days later

Last night was completely sleepless, because I couldn't quiet my stupid mind. And yet… I thought about nothing. Just random clips and pictures of random things; nothing that could be identified.

I now lay on my satin sheets, wearing flannel pajama bottoms, with eyes pried open by invisible clothespins, wishing for sleep even though it's late morning already. I have rarely left the sanctuary of my cold, dark room these last few days… but it brings back memories, for this where Ken…

I slap my head, muttering that I shouldn't think about such things. With a heavy sigh I pull myself off of the bed and walk to the bathroom, straight across from my domain, and slide the door open.

Passing the mirror, my appearance instantly catches my eye. Huge bags lay under each of my emotionless violet eyes, sunken cheekbones from malnutrition, normally pristine strawberry red hair now a dull, pale mess of tangles; the overall disarray of my state of well-being.

I abruptly turn away from the startling picture and start my shower. Hot, this time. I undress myself, throwing my clothes haphazardly into the wicker basket.

Climbing into the shower stall and closing the curtain, I let the scalding water pour over my entire being, water droplets pounding my dirtied body, and wash the sweat from my once beautiful hair. My hair… normally so pampered and clean, now suffering from neglect. The edges are ragged and long, my ear tails flopped randomly across the sides of my shoulders.

My sister used to tell me that when she wanted to find me in a large crowd, all she had to do was look for my strawberry-colored head… she is so like Ken, in so many different ways. But Aya is away at boarding school, so I can't see her. Though I could, in theory, call her… yes! I can call my sister for help!

With newfound hope, I trod confidently to my room wearing only a fluffy white towel. Omi just happens to be walking by, and stares at me with wide eyes, head following my retreating form. I normally wouldn't go around half-naked like that, but…

I quickly dress myself, pulling on the orange sweater that Aya had made me for my 17th birthday (it's really actually quite ugly, but… it has sentimental value) and a pair of plain black jeans.

Walking to the kitchen downstairs I find it deserted. Good. I pick up the phone and dial the number of her dormitory, my heart beating a little quicker than I want it to.

I hear her sweet voice after she picks up. "Moshi moshi."

"Aya? It's Ran. I need some advice."

"Okay! Fire away, niisan!"

I hastily explain the incidents of the past weeks, trusting her to take this seriously.

"Well, I can't tell you to love Ken, and I can't tell you to not love Ken. But I can tell you simply follow whatever your heart is trying to tell you. I know you, Ran; you tend to go by what your brain says instead of just following your heart. Listen to both, for once."

My eyes widen slightly, and after a quick thank you, we say our goodbyes.

I plop down on the dining chair near the phone, and ponder over Aya's words. How am I supposed to follow my heart when I'm not entirely sure I have one? This could take longer to figure out than I originally thought.

NyarNyarNyar

Yohji's POV, same day, toward noon

He's an idiot. He's a fucking idiot. Can Ran not see what he has before him? I also don't understand how Ken could possibly love him, and gender has nothing to do with it. I mean, Ran's a fucking iceberg! An iceberg that no amount of heat could melt!

I know what happened between them. How, you ask? Well, I have my ways. I mean, I was a detective before joining Weiß.

I wish Ran would just see Ken the way that I know his heart is telling him to… they would be good together. Kenken's bright warmth just might be able to melt the ice princess, once and for all.

NyarNyarNyar

Omi's POV, same day, toward midnight

Poor Kenken! How could Ran possibly do that to him? Here I am in the middle of the night, dead tired, and worrying about my friend! If Ran wasn't such a stubborn nugget, I wouldn't have to do this… and they would make such a cute couple! Ken might be able to pull Ran out of his shell, which would do us ALL some good.

I just wish… for everyone's happiness. I am happy with Yohji, he is happy with me… and I just want Ran and Ken to have the same happiness. Forever.

NyarNyarNyar

Ken's POV, unknown time

It's pulling me down! I can't stay upright… the light is disappearing! Don't let it go! I can't! Please, let me stay! But still it pulls me down, deeper and deeper into the pits of insanity.

I try to swim upward, float toward that tiny little shred of hope, reaching up into the light… but it's getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther away. Shall I give up?

It's… gone. I'm done… gone forever. Unless he will save me, I will stay here in the almost blissful silence, and cease to exist. Ran? Ran! Please, you have to save me!

NyarNyarNyar

Ran's POV, at the hospital the next day

The beeping of the heart monitor is speeding up! That's bad, isn't it…?

Omi and Yohji jump up in panic and run out the door to get assistance. But I am glued to the spot, to this stupid tan hospital chair across from the bed… It takes all of my willpower just to pry myself from the spot to go kneel next to Ken's bed…

I grab the hand of the dying boy, ignoring the fact that Omi and Yohji have come back with help. My eyes dart frantically around the room, stopping on the white-clad nurse at Ken's other side.

The steady breathing of the silent form on the bed becomes frantic and irregular, and then stops altogether. The nurse tells me to let go and step away, as she soon starts to shock his chest to stimulate breathing. The stupid 'one… two… three… clear!' of the woman is driving me nuts!

I dimly register the fact that Omi and Yohji are crying, and seem planted to the ground, staring on in a silent depression. A tear slips down my cheek unbidden. Then another, and another. Soon a cascading waterfall of salty droplets runs down my face, unyielding to my inward pleas to stop.

The beeps steady again, though I never actually noticed when they had stopped. I hear my remaining two teammates sigh in relief, but the nurses (when did more get here? I don't know) still look worried.

"His breathing has steadied, and his heart is beating just fine, but he's not out of danger yet. He will need to stay here in the ICU," a red-haired nurse informs us gravely. "I still have no idea what exactly is wrong with him… there's no physical trauma at all, so it's obviously mentally stimulated, which means he could go under again at any time. You should all try talking to him; your friend may react well to familiar voices."

The nurses leave the room, though they told us to call if we need anything else. Omi and Yohji slowly approach the bed and kneel one on either side of me. I know their eyes are set on me, but I still can't stop the tears from flowing.

Crying… something I haven't done since Aya woke up from her coma. This is so much like what happened to her… Why is Ken making me cry when he's just my teammate? Why is his unconscious state troubling me so?

I don't know when I grabbed his hand again, but there it is, tightly squeezed in my own. I gently let go. The three of us remain kneeling next to the pristine white bed for a few more minutes, but soon silently agree that it's time to leave.

I glance at the sleeping form once more, and then step out the door, with tears still flowing.

When we arrive back at the Koneko, I go straight up to my room and 'go to sleep.' But I can't sleep. Too much is going through my mind to want to bother with sleep.

But oh, how I wish I could just let go, forget everything, and reign in the sweet darkness. But… a part of me wants to remember. Wants to hear and know everything that I hear and know. And this feeling inside of me… I don't know exactly what it is, but… I think I like this. It feels warm and kind. Like Ken. Yes, this feeling is like Ken…

That's when I realize what I have to do. I glance quickly at the clock, and see that it's 3:23 AM. It's been seven hours since I got home…

My mind dimly registers the fact that I haven't accomplished anything since the time I arrived except for sorting out my feelings. Well, I guess in my case, that's good work for only seven hours.

I quietly slip out of my room and glide stealthily down the stairs, through the kitchen, and to the back door, and enter the garage. I take no time to ponder over the fact that my Porsche smells of smoke, but I make a note in my head to later ask Yohji.

I rev the engine and speed out onto the dark street, only light coming from the sparse streetlamps and my car's headlights. A turn, a turn, another turn—I don't even hear the honking of the other cars, focused solely on the road in front of me, a road on which I have traveled far too many times.

I swerve into the parking lot of the hospital, followed by a string of curses from other late-night drivers, and hop—yes, hop—out of my silver Porsche. I bring up a map of the hospital in my head, having been here more than I wish I have, and carefully note where Ken's room is located in relation to potential obstacles.

When I have the exact location implanted in my brain, I stalk through the near empty concrete lot over to the right side of the building. Luckily, there's a fire escape on the wall, so I am able to climb up with no difficulty. I read the number of each level, and pick the lock to the third, where I know the room is located.

I slip quietly inside, the white glaring maliciously back at me, even in the night, for the life as an assassin leaves one's eyes rather accustomed to the dark.

I immediately approach the sleeping figure on the bed, and sit in the dull violet chair next to him.

At first, all I can do is stare at my feet, wondering why I took time out of my rare rest break to come to a hospital where my fallen TEAMMATE lies dormant… but then I get up my courage, and prepare my speech.

I turn to face the silent sleeper, and grab his hand gently. "Ken… first of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry. For everything. I didn't know how to take your feelings, didn't know I even could feel strong emotions other than anger… so I turned you away.

"I know it's too late, but, I just thought you should know how much you have changed my views on everything… and that you are my best friend.

"You know, if you were awake, I'd never have the courage to admit anything to you. Yes, ran Fujimiya, human iceberg, is scared of something. In fact, I'm afraid of many things—love, friends, rejection, and fear itself… but most of all, I'm afraid of losing the people I care most about. You, Omi, Yohji, and Aya… if I permanently lost any one of you, my life would cease to exist.

"In our line of business, I know we could die on any mission, and that's why I try not to get close to anyone at all. But, in the process, I forgot why it's important to have friends. I forgot how to be warm, how to emote… how to feel anything at all. Ken, you taught me how to feel again. Your warm, cheery eyes, bright smile, and love of all life taught me that it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Thank you. I am in your debt because you made me realize how much I care about you. How much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."

NyarNyarNyar

Ken's POV

I'm floating in eternal darkness, never to see light again. If I could see anything, it would be nothingness, on and on for infinity. Distance, time, senses… none of them exist in this place.

Nothingness is all I know. I wonder if anyone else lives in nothingness… or if I'm truly alone. But… I wish it on no one else, for when one as insane as I am is left alone in his or her thoughts, it's hard. Pain is all I know… pain and nothingness.

Yet, something is trying to pull me up. Something grabs my hand… yes, I have a hand! A body! A mind! A soul, even! My senses return to me one by one. The darkness is still there, but I can see something ahead. Could it be…? Yes! Light! The light has returned! It is getting closer and closer as the 'something' pulls me upward until it's almost blinding. Only one more gate to unlock before I am away from the darkness. It opens, along with what I realize must be my eyes.

When consciousness has returned, I hear something… someone's voice. A familiar, soothing sound…

"… how much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."

NyarNyarNyar

Omi's POV, that same instant

"_Yohji, be quiet, he's gonna hear us!_" I whisper harshly to my significant other. Said person just fidgets in response, causing me to shift position.

Now, your average person might be asking, "how come two uber-hot and obviously gay men are stuck in a closet together but AREN'T making out?" Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation. Yotan and I are tracking Ran to make sure he doesn't screw anything up like he's had the tendency to do lately. Luckily, he was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice someone trailing him to the hospital. So much for ever alert… but for right now, at least, it's a good thing he isn't.

I press my ear closer to the door, and I feel my koibito do the same. My ears are strained as I try to make out the words, and I feel my heart fill with joy when I catch what Ran is saying. He says we're his best friends! I always knew that in my heart, but I never thought I'd get the chance to hear him say it out loud!

He goes on for a few seconds, and then utters the words that should have been said long ago… and a wide grin spreads across my face. I can only hope that Ken will awaken and be able to hear those words for himself.

NyarNyarNyar

Yohji's POV, still the same time

Much as I enjoy being locked in a closet with my little chibi, I really wish that idiot would hurry up already. There are things I'd much rather be doing in here, that involves myself, my little Omi, and some of this slippery soap…

Those two really are perfect for each other, if only Ran wasn't Mr. Stick-shoved-up-his-ass. But, there is still hope, for he seems to be greatly troubled with Ken's current predicament, and came to talk to him instead of either of us. Of course, there's no guarantee he'll even say anything of importance, but why else would he even be at a hospital, which he hates, in the early hours of the morning?

With firm resolve in my mind, I press my ear against the door, imitating Omittchi's position, and listen closely. Being a trained assassin, my hearing is much better than a normal human's would be, so I can pick out most of what Ranikins is saying.

He spews some sappy crap about us being his best friends, which we already knew the case to be. He goes on for a bit, and then finally says the words for which we've all been waiting for so long.

"… how much I… love you. Ai shiteru, Ken."

NyarNyarNyar

Ran's POV, same time… still…

I stare at his face for a moment longer, and then get up to leave. As I'm pulling my hand away, something grasps it tightly. I turn back toward the bed in surprise, and find two brown pools of warmth staring up at me. I blink, just to make sure I'm not seeing things (again), but the cheery chocolate eyes and wide smile are still there.

"Hello, Ran," whispers the voice quietly.

I'm not quite sure what to say, so I decide that actions speak much louder than words. My hand lets go of his, but I wrap it and my other hand under his back and lower the top of my body onto his, leaving my forehead to rest on his, and I gently press my lips onto his. It's just a chaste kiss, a mere taste of what's to come, but it's completely intoxicating.

Ken tenses up for a moment, but I soon feel his arms wrap around my back, too. I remove my head and lay it on top of his chest, breathing in his unique masculine scent. I could've stayed like that forever, had I not heard two voices coming from the closet.

I carefully untangle myself from Ken and leap up, regretting the fact that I'd left my katana behind.

"Show yourself!" I demand at the general direction of the closet door. Some bang and clank noises come from inside, but then the door opens, and out come—Yohji and Omi.

"Yohji! I told you to keep quiet!" the younger of the two chastises.

"No, chibi, it's your fault our cover was blown because you kept twitching!"

For a few seconds I just stand there, watching the two bickering, blinking every now and again, but then I walk slowly and purposefully over to the couple and whack them both upside their heads.

"How long have you been spying on me!"

The two just give me a sheepish look, so I glare at them. Omi is the first to reply. "Uh, Ran, aren't you forgetting something? Or rather, someone?"

A light bulb appears inside my brain, and I turn around to face Ken again. He smiles warmly up at me, and I grace him with a small smile of my own.

"Well, I'm glad to see everything's back to normal. Wouldn't want anyone to be out of character, of course," the brunette jokes softly.

Omi, Yohji and I all rush to hug Ken at the same time, emitting a small gasp from the younger man. I utter three words, words that will change my life forever.

"Welcome home, Ken."

TBC!

Okay, minna-san, all that's left is the epilogue, which won't be very long… I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again; please review! Reviews make the authoress happy, and feed the ever-hungry muse. See ya at the epilogue!


	6. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Blah, blah, blah.

Rating: Pg? Pg-13? I dunno.

Epilogue

Ran and Ken's POV: Three weeks later

We lay in bed together, happy as a killer can be, savoring every moment we spend with each other in this chaotic life. Our lovemaking is soft, passionate, caring; filled with whispered phrases of joy, and loving caresses. The moment we are joined, nothing else matters. Not our jobs, not our lives, not even Yohji or Omi. All that matters is that we can be together. Together forever.

I've finally found where I belong.

I'm home.

The End 

Well, it's finally done! Thanks a lot to all of you who have stuck through this to the very end. I still want reviews! An authoress' hunger for reviews is insatiable!


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